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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away.
Honolulu, it\'s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife\'s mother.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, \'Where have I gone wrong?\' Then a voice says to me, \'This is going to take more than one night.\'
There\'s many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
If there?s one thing I know it?s God does love a good joke.
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When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn\'t it.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I\'ll never know.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
Those are my principles. If you don\'t like them I have others.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
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The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
The truth is more important than the facts.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
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Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I\'ll never know.
A physicist is an atom\'s way of knowing about atoms.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there\'s no risk of accident for someone who\'s dead.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
If you can read this you\'re not aiming in the right direction.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don\'t have it.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
I Can\'t Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don\'t Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
I\'ve had a wonderful time, but this wasn\'t it.
I\'m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let\'s start with typewriters.
Copy from one, it\'s plagiarism; copy from two, it\'s research.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
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The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one\'s doubts.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse\'s family too.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
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Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Don\'t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don\'t add up.
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Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don\'t have it.
I\'m not a member of any organized political party, I\'m a Democrat!
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT\'S relativity.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
If you think it\'s simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
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I\'ve never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I\'ve seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
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Yes, I\'m fat, but you\'re ugly and I can go on a diet.
Gigerenzer\'s Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
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I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn\'t it.
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The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
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Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
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A physicist is an atom\'s way of knowing about atoms.
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
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Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is \'to be prepared\'.
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When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can\'t remember what they are.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
We didn\'t lose the game; we just ran out of time.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
O\'Toole\'s Corollary of Finagle\'s Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT\'S relativity.
Emulate your heros, but don\'t carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
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So I rang up a local building firm, I said \'I want a skip outside my house.\' He said \'I\'m not stopping you.\'
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The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
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If you can read this you\'re not aiming in the right direction.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
My last cow just died, so I won\'t need your bull anymore.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, \'Where have I gone wrong?\' Then a voice says to me, \'This is going to take more than one night.\'
Once you\'ve written TBicycle, you never forget how.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
Lohr\'s Law: The future is merely the past with a twist and better tools.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
My last cow just died, so I won\'t need your bull anymore.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
Hearing nuns\' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
A man can\'t be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
It\'s wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
I\'m not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
If it wasn\'t for C, we\'d be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
If you haven\'t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Don\'t drive me crazy -- it\'s within walking distance.
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
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Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
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The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
If everything seems under control, you\'re just not going fast enough.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
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I don\'t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
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If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
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Why don\'t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it\'s fantastic.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
A man can\'t be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
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It\'s impossible to experience one\'s death objectively and still carry a tune.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn\'t it.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
I\'m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other\'s children.
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: \'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
I\'m Jewish. I don\'t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
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I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It\'s pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
Don\'t be so humble - you are not that great.
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A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I\'ll waste no time reading it.
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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
I hope life isn\'t a big joke ... because I don\'t get it.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
I\'m not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
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Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
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If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
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We don\'t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog\'s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
Barab?si\'s Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do ? whether it is correct or not.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is \'to be prepared\'.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
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Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
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We\'ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn\'t.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
Machine. Unexpectedly, I\'d invented a time
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
Phentermine overnight no prescription
I\'m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
Maybe this world is another planet\'s Hell.
Mit der Dummheit k?mpfen G?tter selbst vergebens
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you\'ve got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn\'t your biggest problem.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said \'You\'ve been promoted\'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said \'You\'ve been promoted again\'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said \'You\'re managing director.\' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said \'What happened to you?\' And I Said \'I careered off the road.\'
最終更新日 : 2012/01/29/(Sun) 02:12
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